最新幽默演讲稿开场白
1 不好意思，各位，你们来错地方了，今天的演讲取消了;我想我们并不需要什么演讲，我们需要的是真心的沟通，那么，我们今天真心的沟通就开始了。(一上场就跟听众讲今天的演讲取消了，所有人都会非常惊讶，然后想到底怎么回事?此时听众的注意力全都被吸引到了演讲者的身上，然后演讲者开始说：“我们今天真心的沟通就开始了。”接下去就开始演讲，这种方式最大的好处就是能迅速抓住听众的注意力。)
2 “朋友们，有些人真是经营有道，投机有方啊!有一首《诀窍铭》这一告诉我们：位不在高，头尖则灵;官不在大，手长则行;斯是诀窍，唯吾钻营;对上捧粗腿，对下用私人;吹牛走鸿运，拍马不碰针，可以开后门，讲交情。无正义之细胞，无原则之准绳，烟酒来开道，金钱能通神。孔子曰：‘何鄙之有’?”
最新幽默演讲稿开场白
1990年电视台邀请中国影视艺术家凌峰先生参加春节联欢晚会。当时，许多观众对他还很陌生，可是他说完那妙不可言的开场白后，一下子被观众认同并受到了热烈欢迎。他说：“在下凌峰，我和文章不同，虽然我们都获得过‘金钟奖’和最佳男歌星称号，但我以长得难看而出名一般来说，女观众对我的印象不太好，她们认为我是人比黄花瘦，脸比煤炭黑。”这一番话嬉而不谑，妙趣横生，观众捧腹大笑。这段开场白给人们留下了非常坦诚、风趣幽默的良好印象。不久，在“金话筒之夜”文艺晚会上，只见他满脸含笑，对观众说：“很高兴又见到了你们，很不幸又见到了我。”观众报以热烈的掌声。至此，凌峰的名字就传遍了祖国大地。
最新幽默演讲稿开场白
下雨的时候，雨丝浸润着古巷，笼罩着古巷，仿佛在小心翼翼的为一个婴儿洗浴，瓦片上的青苔，含苞的花朵都在欣喜地啜饮天降的甘霖。雨天人们是不怎么出门的，泡一壶清茶坐在藤椅上，翻翻古老的线装书，吟着《雨巷》，也会有调皮的孩子在雨中嬉戏，清脆的笑声如挂在檐角的风铃，美妙悦耳，丁香般的姑娘，举着油纸伞消失在巷口，留下背影让人遐想。这里的一切都如一首婉约的诗，一花一木都充满了灵气，营造着诗意的氛围。(《诗意地生活》)。
最新幽默演讲稿开场白
同学们：
大家好！在这次竞选中，我竞选的职务是。
众所周知，班长是一班之长，要管理的方方面面有很多。
所以，要当好一个班长，是需要具有不怕吃苦的精神和奋勇向上的决心。我不仅具有上面的条件，而且有很好的组织能力。小时候，我经常组织楼下的小朋友们一起玩耍。
我相信，如果我当上了班长，我一定会做好这项工作。如果我当上了班长，我会首先制止班里那些不文明的现象，并把它们从我们这个班中赶出去。到那时，我们班一定是个文明的班集体。
然后，我会把班里的`卫生搞好。在平时，一些同学的桌子底下总会残留着一些纸渣。尽管这些是微不足道的，我也要把它们彻底清除，让卫生流动红旗永远飘扬在我们班。如果我当上了班长，我会紧抓学习，让同学们的学习飞快地进步；我会在体育上下功夫，让同学们个个成为体育的强手；
总之，我会让我们班成为一个发光的班集体！
最新幽默演讲稿开场白
各位，各位老师：
大家好！
我是xx学校的，很荣幸能有机会参加这一次的“师德师风演讲”比赛！
说，教师的爱是滴滴甘露，即使枯萎的心灵也能苏醒。苏霍姆林斯基也说过：没有爱就没有教育。教师的爱是融融春风，即使冰冻了的感情也会消融。不是索取，不是交换，而是付出，是给予，是自我牺牲。这就是爱，有爱才有教育，因为爱才崇高，无私地爱，是教育的魂！怀着对神圣的教育事业的热切向往，为了朝拜远方那纯洁的圣地，我义无反顾地选择了教师这一职业，当我站在三尺讲台，面对着几十双渴求知识的眼睛，面对着几十张天真可爱的面孔的时候，我才发现，当好一名教师，仅仅有着能传授给学生的知识，仅仅有着为教育献身的热情是远远不够的。
最新幽默演讲稿开场白
Opening Statement
mr. chairman, senator thurmond, members of the committee, my name is anita f. hill, and i am a professor of law at the university of oklahoma. i was born on a farm in okmulgee county, oklahoma, in 1956. i am the youngest of 13 children. i had my early education in okmulgee county. my father, albert hill, is a farmer in that area. my mother's name is irma hill. she is also a farmer and a housewife.
my childhood was one of a lot of hard work and not much money, but it was one of solid family affection, as represented by my parents. i was reared in a religious atmosphere in the baptist faith, and i have been a member of the antioch baptist church in tulsa, oklahoma, since 1983. it is a very warm part of my life at the present time.
for my undergraduate work, i went to oklahoma state university and graduated from there in 1977. i am attaching to this statement a copy of my resume for further details of my education.
i graduated from the university with academic honors and proceeded to the yale law school, where i received my jd degree in 1980. upon graduation from law school, i became a practicing lawyer with the washington, dc, firm of ward, hardraker, and ross.
in 1981, i was introduced to now judge thomas by a mutual friend. judge thomas told me that he was anticipating a political appointment, and he asked if i would be interested in working with him. he was, in fact, appointed as assistant secretary of education for civil rights. after he had taken that post, he asked if i would become his assistant, and i accepted that position.
in my early period there, i had two major projects. the first was an article i wrote for judge thomas' signature on the education of minority students. the second was the organization of a seminar on high-risk students which was abandoned because judge thomas transferred to the eeoc where he became the chairman of that office.
during this period at the department of education, my working relationship with judge thomas was positive. i had a good deal of responsibility and independence. i thought he respected my work and that he trusted my judgment. after approximately three months of working there, he asked me to go out socially with him.
what happened next and telling the world about it are the two most difficult things -- experiences of my life. it is only after a great deal of agonizing consideration and sleeplenumber -- a great number of sleeplenights tha(t i am able to talk of these unpleasant matters to anyone but my close friends.
i declined the invitation to go out socially with him and explained to him that i thought it would jeopardize what at the time i considered to be a very good working relationship. i had a normal social life with other men outside of the office. i believed then, as now, that having a social relationship with a person who was supervising my work would be ill-advised. i was very uncomfortable with the idea and told him so.
i thought that by saying no and explaining my reasons my employer would abandon his social suggestions. however, to my regret, in the following few weeks, he continued to ask me out on several occasions. he pressed me to justify my reasons for saying no to him. these incidents took place in his office or mine. they were in the form of private conversations which would not have been overheard by anyone else.
my working relationship became even more strained when judge thomas began to use work situations to discuse-x. on these occasions, he would call me into his office for reports on education issues and projects, or he might suggest that, because of the time pressures of his schedule, we go to lunch to a government cafeteria. after a brief discussion of work, he would turn the conversation to a discussion of se-xual matters.
his conversations were very vivid. he spoke about acts that he had seen in pornographic films involving such matters as women having se-x with animals and films showing group se-x or rape scenes. he talked about pornographic materials depicting individuals with large penises or large breasts involved in various se-x acts. on several occasions, thomas told me graphically of his own se-xual prowess.
because i was extremely uncomfortable talking about se-x with him at all and particularly in such a graphic way, i told him that i did not want to talk about these subjects. i would also try to change the subject to education matters or to nonse-xual personal matters such as his background or his beliefs. my efforts to change the subject were rarely successful.
throughout the period of these conversations, he also from time to time asked me for social engagements. my reaction to these conversations was to avoid them by eliminating opportunities for us to engage in extended conversations. this was difficult because at the time i was his only assistant at the office of education -- or of
fice for civil rights.